A young student onced asked a Zen master, "Master, what is zen?" The Zen master replied, "When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink."
Let's start this blog out with a little exercise. Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you to go run a mile or do sit ups. Nope. I want you to think about what scares you. More specifically, what is the scariest thing on the planet you can think of? I'm sure you're asking yourself, "Why would I want to do that?" Just humor me. What is the most scary thing you can think of? Clowns? Spiders? Aliens that aren't cuddily? Things that go bump in the night. Maybe your afraid of something more bleak: Being laid off, being the victim of a violent crime, losing someone you love to an illness. Insert your fear here. Yep, you can imagine lots of scary things, can't you? Funny how the imagination works. But what's the grand daddy of all fear? What is the root of it's power? Ultimately, it's the fear of the unknown.
The unknown often derails our dreams and can stop us from living full lives. Why don't you apply for that promotion? Why don't you buy that car that you've been eyeing for the last three months? Why don't you ask that guy or girl out that you're crushing on? Why don't you join the gym? Your mind can generate all kinds of "reasons" why you should or shouldn't do this or that. There's better qualified applicants. What if I can't afford the long term car payments? He/She will probably turn me down for a date. What if people judge me at the gym? What if this, what if that, what if, what if, what if... Just like some people are afraid to get in the ocean because they can't see what's swimming around them, we do the same thing in our daily life. (Thanks Matt for that.)
Okay. You get the idea. But I want you to really get 'it'. The 'it' - is what causes the fear. It's not clowns, spiders, or even an event or the situation. It's not a real thing at all. 'It', is the not knowing what is going to happen. It is the manifestation of anxeity brought on by thought. That is the heart of fear. Now, I know what you are thinking: "Okay, Kung Fu Monk, so how do I get around this 'it' fear thing? I know that what I don't know is scary." Well, hopefully you thought that out more gracefully then I imagined you did. So, how do we break this barrier? I'm glad you asked.
First off, let's examine what "unknown" you are struggling with. We do this by asking ourselves about our concern. We get to know it. "It", get it. (Okay bad joke). What is it that I'm worried/scared of? Why is this causing me concern?
Secondly, we ask ourselves: what are the REALISTIC outcomes of the concern? Now, being realistic is critical. When you answer what the outcomes could be, be plausable not just possible. I don't want you to think things like, "Well I could be killed tomorrow by a maniac if I leave my house..." Well no kidding. It's possible. But it probably won't happen! Being realistic helps to take away the power that fear can have on us.
Third, remember... be Zen. (No, Zen is not a form of Chinese money). Zen is living right now! Not in the past and not in the future. Meaning, the past can't hurt us. (Unless it's credit card or loan related). And the future... the future hasn't happened yet. (That's why it's called the future). That's what the Zen master was talking about with the student at the beginning of this blog. He was referring to living now! Living in the present moment! This simple thing will not only give you courage but also decrease stress.
Fourth thing, breathe. I tell my [martial arts] students that no matter what is going on outside around them, they need only to take shelter inside themselves. Inside, there is peace. To focus on that inner peace, we breathe. We return to our breath. We focus our mind on each breath until we calm the mind. Remember: the body follows the mind. And because we are sentient beings (beings that are capable of contemplative thought) we have the potential to be masters of ourselves. And in this case, our inner peace.
Lastly, and most importantly, believe in yourself! It's never exceptable to be a hater. So don't hate on yourself! You have to realize that things do happen for a reason! You are who you are suppose to be right now and you are where you are meant to be right now. You can decide to improve both. I have faith in you and I haven't even met you!
Everyone of us gets afraid from time to time, afraid of a variety of things. But at the root, it's a fear of the unknown. We control very little in our overall lives. Things are essentially out of our control. We don't know where our lives will go or ultimately how they will end. We have to, on some level, except that. In fact we should embrace that. But one thing is for sure, "to live in fear is not to live at all." Don't let the unknown paralyze you in your life! It's your life! So when you are laying in bed and worrying about paying bills, your loved ones, or your own health, remember these few tips. Take them. Apply them. And don't let fear be a barrier! Break it!
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