I always thought there would be this moment of "enlightenment" or moment of clarity when your mind, your consciousness, becomes open. I read stories of the Buddha, meditating under the Bodhi tree and then suddenly- BAM! Enlightenment! While that makes for a great story, for me, that's just not how it happens. Nope. As much as I prayed, practiced, and meditated, I never became all knowing or anything like that. In fact, I'm still about as dumb as I ever was. But... something did happen to me. Something did change. Over the journey. And... at anytime... it can happen to you too. If I didn't become a Buddha, then what was it? Well... I woke up.
From the cushion, to work, to a gas station, to the gym
After about two years of daily meditation, fairly regular visits to the Buddhist temple, and hanging out with the monks, I noticed some very significant changes within my self. Oddly enough, people around me started to notice too. What's even weirder to me is that suddenly, more and more people wanted to be around me and wanted to know me. I'm a bit of an awkward introvert so this was a bit challenging to say the least. I mean I expected to start connecting with a few people more, because my acting career began picking up, but most of these people didn't care about that. A lot of them hadn't even seen my work. They didn't want to talk about my roles or actors I've worked with; they wanted to talk about theology, philosophy, and what I thought about God, life, and how to be happy.
When the hell did I become an authority on such things? Happy? Me, this hippie Kung Fu actor, church reject? Really? Yeah... Even after enduring poverty, several failed relationships, deaths in my family, and much rejection, I was...in fact... inexplicably... happy. Much like the slow awakening of awareness, I had slowly become increasingly happy. It really didn't dawn on me till multiple people questioned me about it. I was busy just bee bopping along on my days. Smiling. Laughing. A lot.
Back in my cop days, I used to intimidate people by just walking into a room. Strong. Masculine. Stoic. I prided myself on it, if you can believe that. Now, people I don't even know just approach me. Strangers smile at me. I came from a world of fighting and now I found myself in a world where I could disarm someone, with a smile. All of this seemed to be happening because well... I'm smiling, I'm happy. Wherever I go. Whatever I'm doing. If I'm working on set, or doing a shoot or working my part time job, or at a gas station, or the gym, I'm smiling. No matter if I'm with someone or alone, I'm smiling. And it is more contagious than the chicken pox. (And a lot less itchy.)
All of this was a quantum leap from feeling like an outcast in church. I wasn't born again. I wasn't made new. I was me. Just me. I was awake and I was alive!
My recipe for happiness
Everyone wants to be happy. You can pray for it. You can read about it. You can buy things. But the truth is, happiness isn't something you pray for, sit in church for, or shop for. A new car. A new spouse. A new job. Money. Those things may seem like they will bring you happiness. I thought all of those things would make me happy at one time in life. But I'm here to tell you, I thought wrong.
You want to be happy? Let me break it down to you. Here is the crash course: You have to realize that real happiness isn't something you attain or aspire to. We have been programed to be consumers. To get that extra hit of dopamine from Facebook, to fast cars, fast people, and material stuff. Happiness isn't something you reach for, it comes from within.
The first step toward happiness is to "wake up" to the fact that you are what you are, not what you think you are. Meaning: You are not your body, your clothes, your bank account. You are not that face in the mirror. You are not your habits, your failures, your goals, your feelings. You are not the person you were five years ago or five minutes ago. You are, this person, right now. You are an eternal being. You are a spirit of eternal consciousness, truth, and bliss. That's what you are.
When you realize that for yourself, not because I told you, or Oprah, or Dr. Phil told you, but because you figured it out, when you fully get it; happiness will begin to bloom within you. It blooms because you know the temporariness of life and circumstance. You know our eyes lie. You know all of this is an illusion. And you know that- you are forever. (Kind of a game changer.) You will find so much to be grateful for. When that moment occurs, you will find that happiness isn't fueled by external things or forces but by what is already inside you.
Happiness is understanding suffering. You must realize what suffering is and what causes suffering. Suffering is essentially the mind wanting something it either can't have or struggles to hold on to or the mind refuses to accept reality. Stress is a side effect and can also be synonymous with suffering. The root cause of suffering is wanting or attachment. You can reference this further in, "The Four Noble Truths."
You must understand that you are complete. Just how you are. Forget that Jerry McGuire shit. No one completes you, no one saves you. Your happiness in life depends on no one but yourself. You are complete and be grateful for it.
I also began to get happier because I started recognizing my sufferings and I started eliminating unnecessary things and demands on myself. I saw, for the first time, how temporary and fleeting the feelings I got when I bought things were. I started to declutter my home and my mind. I turned off cable. I down sized. I stopped thinking so negatively. I started reading more. I began putting positive input into my mind. I also started to apply my meditation to my daily life. I realized that there are only three moments in time- past, present, and future. Meditation is about being present. Fully. In this moment, right here. Nowhere else.
Because emotion is directly tied to your thoughts, when you dwell in the past, you find emotions swelling inside you such as sadness, embarrassment, regret, failure, and anger. When we fantasize about the future, we may feel stress, anxiety, fear, and doubt. But when we focus our mind on the present, there's none of those feelings of the past or future. There is only peace. That's why they call it the "present." It's a gift. In the present, the past and future do not exist. Don't believe me? Try it. Start by focusing on your breath. Listen to it. Take 10 mindful deep breaths. It's a little exercise I do whenever I'm about to do a show or a performance. It brings me back to center and it will do the same for you; Anytime, any place.
The unorganized religion
When I began figuring out what I was and what I wasn't, life began to take on a special meaning. The universe now seemed to be alive and magical. It became everything that I searched for in churches as an impressionable youth. I found my gospel, not in the archaic pages of a thousand year old book, or the hell, fire, and brimstone threats of the misguided, but within my own being. I discovered that the only labels we have are the ones we give ourselves.
The absolute truth is, there is no separation. We are all connected. Even to people you might not like. There's no black or white. No rich or poor. No left or right. There is just unity, the great connection. That alone is enough to make me smile; to make me happy. Many of us just haven't taken the time to see that connection. Your true happiness, your journey, is now more important than ever. You are not alone on this journey. Sometimes the only love someone may see, is the love that is inside of you. No matter what any bible, preacher, youth leader, or dogma says, the true religion is always... love. The true religion is in you...
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