"The great mistake is to anticipate the out come of the engagement". - Bruce Lee
So many times we concern ourselves with either keeping up with or being better then the other person. Be it in the gym, in trying to win someones affection, or having the nicer car, and so on and so forth. My question is why?
Because I like you guys so much, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. This secret really shouldn't be a secret at all, it should be obvious. But because we get so caught up in the anxiety of competing with others, we lose sight of this obvious fact: The only person you should ever compete with is you!
Whatever "qualities" or material items or titles someone else has- has zero baring on you! People change nothing about you. That means that they can neither add to or take away from all that you are and have. If you are upset that some girl is thinner then you or some guy has bigger muscles then you, the fact remains that the only thing that is truly affected is your mind and the perception of yourself. To invoke envy, jealous, or self doubt are side effects that you, yourself, have empowered that person with. The one who has control, in realty, is you! That means, the master of yourself, has been and always will be YOU!
How many times have you looked out your window in traffic and wished that you had that nicer car that is beside you? How many times have you felt like you had to compete with some person to "win" the affection of another? These are all natural feelings, I'll give you that, but we don't have to feel them. I know what you're thinking: "Well, Kung Fu Monk, how do I stop feeling like that?' Simple. But difficult. At first.
Ask yourself this: Am I really being the best person I can be? Be it in the gym, with your diet, spouse, at work, with education, so on and so forth. If the answer is yes, then keep doing what you are doing. Because I assure you, you are headed in the right direction. If you said, no, then ask yourself where it is you feel you can do better. Formulate a plan to improve the areas where you are self conscience. Again, you are the master of yourself! No one else is!
Too many times we look for reassurance that we are smart enough, strong enough, or good looking enough, from other people. I have many female friends who ever so often confide in me that they feel that they will never find the person that they will marry. Or they may ask me, "Why doesn't he like me?" My answer is, if you want to be loved or respected, you must first love and respect yourself. If you want love, you must be love. If you want strength or "power", you must first become those things. And at the proper time, you will attract what you are seeking. But the funny thing is, those things, or people we sought, were always there, inside of us. A beautiful flower must first begin with a seed of beauty. The seed does not worry about how big or beautiful the tree next to it is. Nor does it worry about attracting the sunshine or rain. It simply does its best to blossom.
We all must step back from moment to moment and examine our growth and realize that we are each perfectly designed. From the apple seed, to the tree, to the clouds, all is perfectly designed. So are each of us. Know that you are powerful. Know that the only competition in reality is the contest that you must participate in with yourself. It's really not about anyone else. It's your life. And if you live your best, then you will have what is best, for you. We must cultivate a mindfulness of who we really are and strive to be better. For ourselves, our friends, and family. And we must accept that we are complete people. No one else or thing completes you. You are already whole. Everything else is simply around you. What is in is in. What is outside is outside. This is the true nature of existence.
Remember- Be your best, not anyone else's best. Become the qualities that you look to in others. And believe in yourself. I promise you, if you do, not only will you blossom, you will nourish others around you. And that, my friends, is truly beautiful.
Sincerely, The Kung Fu Monk.
