Life Changing Ways to Become Happier and Healthier

"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be." - Abraham Lincoln

Who doesn't want to be happier in their life? Right? Here are a few ways that you can be a happier person. It might take a few adjustments initially, but in the long run if you implement these suggestions, you will see a more positive life emerging!

Only hang out with quality people
You become what you surround yourself with. Life is too short to spend time with people who are negative, soul sucking, or disloyal. Quality people, on the other hand, are trustworthy, dependable, loyal, and caring. There's a saying about how you can count your true friends on one hand. That's because authentic, caring, generous people are rare. If you can't find any, be one to someone.

Don't spend your time at a job that you hate
We all have bills and responsibilities in life. It's part of "adulting." But you were born into this life for more. The majority of our waking week is spent at work. We spend more time trying to make money than we do with our own families. You can always make money. It's earned. But you can't make more time. You are here to learn, grow, and ENJOY your life! Don't sacrifice your time to do work you hate or be around people that make you miserable. Life is too short!

Don't date people who don't share your values and joys of life
Rolling around under the sheets is fun, but after that, what's left? Making real memories and having a soul connection is way more important. You need a partner who you can count on, who will be your personal cheer leader when the chips are down. Life is hard enough. You need someone who will compliment your life, not complicate it; Someone who inspires you, makes you think, and makes you care in an honest way. Who you wake up to can be a source of joy or agony. Pick joy. Even if that joy means waking up alone.

Devote at least 10 minutes to meditation daily.
Literally, one of the most positive life changing decisions I made was devoting just a few minutes a day to meditation. It's not a religious practice. It's more psychological than anything. I devote more than 10 minutes, as my schedule permits, but go for as long as you can. 5 minutes. 10. 15 minutes. Whatever. You will find out more about yourself and life than you could have ever imagine. Meditation doesn't stop thoughts, it minimizes them. It brings you back to the present. We feel frustration and regret from the past and worry and anxiety about the future. If you focus the mind on your breath and this moment, peace is all there is.

Don't get trapped by going too big or too fancy.
The big house, the fast car, that name brand handbag all come with a huge price tag. That equates to more time at work, less time for you. For what exactly? We try to use material possessions to fill an inner void that many of us have. Real happiness is free and priceless. Real happiness can't be found outside yourself. Real happiness begins in you when you find your own sense of self, your sense of completion, and fulfillment. This is a process that involves figuring out your own gratefulness and becoming content.

Stop dwelling on the past!
Why? Because it's over and you can't redo any of it. Instead of spending energy and thought on things you can't change, spend that time thinking about and changing what you can now. You are not your past. You are not all the times that you fucked up. You are this person, right here, right now. You are the person who has evolved and learned from their mistakes.

Quit worrying about the future!
Good news. Your future isn't written. There is no will of anything or anyone affecting your life other than your own will. People have a habit, particular at bed time, where they lay back and imagine all of the things that could go wrong. 9 times out of 10, those fears we fantasize about never even happen. Face today. Today is all you have. Tomorrow isn't a guarantee. Why bother worrying. If you are going to dream, dream up a good dream.

Namaste

10 Ways to Become More Comfortable With You Right Now

"Your sense of completion will never be found within anyone else. It comes from within you." 

One of the things that I ask myself when I'm dealing with a person is, are they comfortable with themselves? The question, while on the surface simple, is actually a very profound and life defining question. So much of our views about ourselves, other people, and the very world around us are shaped by our comfort level within our own selves. Here are some philosophical approaches to help you become more comfortable in your own skin.

Realize that you are not your body
How many times have you got down on yourself about your weight? How many times have you wanted different hair? Or to be taller? shorter? Thinner? Your body might be a temple but it's not a place of worship. The body is worthless without intellect, character, and kindness. Who you are in this body is merely a collection of atoms, thoughts, ideas, labels, and habits. You are no more your body as you are the car you drive. Your body is decomposing. It's temporary. You, however, are not. Eat the damn ice cream and go for a walk.

Realize that material wealth and possessions are temporary and don't define you as a human
That nice car comes with a big car payment and large repair bill when it breaks down. That huge house has a huge mortgage. That hot outfit is going fade and get holes in it. We often suffer from a need for completion and betterment that we already have. Those attachments result in suffering. There is no house, car, clothing, or item that will make the inside of you any better or worse. There is nothing on earth that has been constructed here that was made to last forever.

Become knowledgeable on a topic before you speak in favor or against it
People often choose to try to be "right" rather than be factual about a multitude of topics. Many of us are more concerned with appearing to be informed rather than actually being informed. We read the headlines but don't bother to read the content material or the source. And fact checking? Who has time for that, right? Informed people do. If it's an interest to you, you owe it to yourself to learn about it. It's okay to not know about things. That's being uniformed. It's not okay to ignore facts. That's being ignorant. And it's okay to change your mind. That's called growth.

Realize you don't have to sell yourself to anyone
First things: You are complete. You are beautiful. You aren't a fragment of the universe, you are the whole universe. I'm not just blowing rainbows and marsh mellows up your butt, I'm stating facts here. Listen, I've been stood up, turned down, and rejected more times than I care to count but one thing is for sure, the right person, the right job, the right path always prevailed. When you know how kind you are, how loving you are, and how special you are, you will understand that what you bring to the table should only be reserved for people who see it too. The word, NO, now stands for, "Next Opportunity."

Realize that you don't have to "win" every argument or debate.
Your self worth doesn't hinge on convincing others to think like you. (Read that again).

Accept other people's religions and truths as their own.
You are on a path just like me and every living creature throughout the universe. As humans, we are all trying to figure this life out by very limited perceptions of 5 senses. Some of us are further down our paths than others. And that's okay. We all have something to offer each other in the way of making the world a better place. It's not your responsibility to judge others' beliefs. It is your job to practice your own.

Recognize that none of us have it all figured out.
We are all made up of our individual experiences, teachings, and "programming." Like I've stated earlier, we are defining our lives and interpreting meaning through five, limited, senses. Our brains filter out so much information so that it won't become over worked. Therefore, it's impossible to fully understand "everything" through this mere human condition. I can try to explain to you everyday how to ride a bike, but until you hop on the thing and find your balance, my instructions are useless.

Understand that you don't owe the world an explanation, you owe your talents and your kindness.
You are here for several purposes. One of which is to discover your talents! Those things that really make you excited and leave you feeling passionate when you do them. Because you have been granted the privilege of having those talents, you owe it to the world to share them. Doing so will bring you more joy than you can imagine while making the world a better place!

Remember that not everyone is going to like you and that's okay.
Many people who don't like you don't even like themselves. The first person who must accept you for you is... you. The second part of this is simply treating others how you would want to be treated. There will always be someone who likes you, hell even loves you, for doing that and being you. Likewise, there will be people who won't. But that's only your problem if you make it such. Life isn't a popularity contest, it's an experience to be fully lived.

How others treat you is a reflection of them; how you treat others is a reflection of you.
Not everything is about you. People are so caught in their own lives and interests that often the people around them are an afterthought. People's lack of patience and understanding is more often a result of their own circumstances and character, not you or yours.

Namaste.

5 Behaviors You Shoiuld Never Tolerate From Others

"Behavior is a mirror in which everyone displays [their] own image." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

                                    

  

One of the biggest lessons I have learned within the last few years that gave me great peace was that, more often than not, the way people treat others is more of a reflection of themselves than anyone else. Whether it's based on wanting something from you or their own insecurities, when people treat you poorly it's usually about them. 

The irony of it is that there is no separation. There is no us and them, me and you. We really are one. Yes, even the asshole co worker who talks mad gossip about you in the break room is... well... connected to you. However until people genuinely wake up to this idea, to safe guard yourself and help you live more peacefully, here are a list of observations of behaviors that you shouldn't tolerate from others nor should you do.

Using people for self gain or personal satisfaction - "the users"

These types of people approach others with a what can this person do for me attitude toward dealing with people. "Users" aren't sincere or authentic toward people they think are valuable to them in some way and often mask their true intentions with a charade. I see this all the time in the film industry and corporate America and it's as nauseating as it is stunning. Most reasonable people would see this as a waste of energy and unethical but these people are solely "me" and ego driven with little to no regard toward others.

Gossiping and spreading rumors

There's a great line about real friends. Something to the affect of, "a true friend will defend you in your absence." People who gossip and spread rumors around you, you can bet that they are talking about you when you are not around. Many of us often hear things about others and immediately pass judgment based on hearsay and not on actual facts. This can impact and destroy connections and relationships with people as well as hurt them without justification. We aren't here in these bodies to destroy. We are, by design, creators. Thus we should be creating and building one another up, not tearing ourselves or one another down. 

Lying

Everyone at some point has lied. Lying isn't OK. But out of fairness there's two types of lying. For instance if your spouse says, "do I look fat in this outfit?" and they in fact do, you may say, "no you look great." Well that was a lie. You did it unselfishly to spare the feelings of someone. But if you are cheating on your spouse and you lie to your spouse about it, you lied selfishly to continue your own gratifications. If you know someone who is a perpetual liar, how can you develop any kind of real relationship with that person? Trust is fundamental in being able to fully let your guard down and be you. Be the person that people can be real with and avoid the ones that aren't trust worthy. 

Being condescending

Often times people speak and treat others in a manner that is very belittling. I am referring to people who do this very regularly, not once in a while. Habitual condescending people seem to believe that by making others feel small, they are somehow made bigger and better. These people who do this are often secretly very insecure about themselves and they project their insecurities on others in the form of condescension. These people may often exhibit "gas lighting" behavior with people. 

Cheating

People who cheat, either on spouses or cheat others, are incredibly selfish and self centered. These people have put up walls between themselves and others and are out for their own interests. Cheaters have little to no regard for fairness, honesty, or the feelings of people around them. They are loyal to themselves and no one else. Trust is something we all want for ourselves and for people we care for. Cheaters have a hard time trusting others and being trusted themselves largely due to how they treat others. 

Each and everyone of us is on an individual journey. We meet people, share experiences, and impact the lives of others in  many ways. The best way to deter bad behavior from others is to identify it in them and within ourselves. We must be the light that shines for it is the only light we can control. Always treat people the way that you want to be treated because ultimately how you treat people is how you in fact treat yourself.