One of the things that I ask myself when I'm dealing with a person is, are they comfortable with themselves? The question, while on the surface simple, is actually a very profound and life defining question. So much of our views about ourselves, other people, and the very world around us are shaped by our comfort level within our own selves. Here are some philosophical approaches to help you become more comfortable in your own skin.
Realize that you are not your body
How many times have you got down on yourself about your weight? How many times have you wanted different hair? Or to be taller? shorter? Thinner? Your body might be a temple but it's not a place of worship. The body is worthless without intellect, character, and kindness. Who you are in this body is merely a collection of atoms, thoughts, ideas, labels, and habits. You are no more your body as you are the car you drive. Your body is decomposing. It's temporary. You, however, are not. Eat the damn ice cream and go for a walk.
Realize that material wealth and possessions are temporary and don't define you as a human
That nice car comes with a big car payment and large repair bill when it breaks down. That huge house has a huge mortgage. That hot outfit is going fade and get holes in it. We often suffer from a need for completion and betterment that we already have. Those attachments result in suffering. There is no house, car, clothing, or item that will make the inside of you any better or worse. There is nothing on earth that has been constructed here that was made to last forever.
Become knowledgeable on a topic before you speak in favor or against it
People often choose to try to be "right" rather than be factual about a multitude of topics. Many of us are more concerned with appearing to be informed rather than actually being informed. We read the headlines but don't bother to read the content material or the source. And fact checking? Who has time for that, right? Informed people do. If it's an interest to you, you owe it to yourself to learn about it. It's okay to not know about things. That's being uniformed. It's not okay to ignore facts. That's being ignorant. And it's okay to change your mind. That's called growth.
Realize you don't have to sell yourself to anyone
First things: You are complete. You are beautiful. You aren't a fragment of the universe, you are the whole universe. I'm not just blowing rainbows and marsh mellows up your butt, I'm stating facts here. Listen, I've been stood up, turned down, and rejected more times than I care to count but one thing is for sure, the right person, the right job, the right path always prevailed. When you know how kind you are, how loving you are, and how special you are, you will understand that what you bring to the table should only be reserved for people who see it too. The word, NO, now stands for, "Next Opportunity."
Realize that you don't have to "win" every argument or debate.
Your self worth doesn't hinge on convincing others to think like you. (Read that again).
Accept other people's religions and truths as their own.
You are on a path just like me and every living creature throughout the universe. As humans, we are all trying to figure this life out by very limited perceptions of 5 senses. Some of us are further down our paths than others. And that's okay. We all have something to offer each other in the way of making the world a better place. It's not your responsibility to judge others' beliefs. It is your job to practice your own.
Recognize that none of us have it all figured out.
We are all made up of our individual experiences, teachings, and "programming." Like I've stated earlier, we are defining our lives and interpreting meaning through five, limited, senses. Our brains filter out so much information so that it won't become over worked. Therefore, it's impossible to fully understand "everything" through this mere human condition. I can try to explain to you everyday how to ride a bike, but until you hop on the thing and find your balance, my instructions are useless.
Understand that you don't owe the world an explanation, you owe your talents and your kindness.
You are here for several purposes. One of which is to discover your talents! Those things that really make you excited and leave you feeling passionate when you do them. Because you have been granted the privilege of having those talents, you owe it to the world to share them. Doing so will bring you more joy than you can imagine while making the world a better place!
Remember that not everyone is going to like you and that's okay.
Many people who don't like you don't even like themselves. The first person who must accept you for you is... you. The second part of this is simply treating others how you would want to be treated. There will always be someone who likes you, hell even loves you, for doing that and being you. Likewise, there will be people who won't. But that's only your problem if you make it such. Life isn't a popularity contest, it's an experience to be fully lived.
How others treat you is a reflection of them; how you treat others is a reflection of you.
Not everything is about you. People are so caught in their own lives and interests that often the people around them are an afterthought. People's lack of patience and understanding is more often a result of their own circumstances and character, not you or yours.
Namaste.
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