The 8 Unspoken Racisms

"I have traveled many places and as far as I can see, there is only one race on our planet- the human race." ~  Capt. James E. Sandor

Division is one of the oldest forms of control. If a group or nation can be divided, they can be conquered. It is only by unity and community that a group, nation, or planet can be superiorly strong. One of the most effective ways to divide people is to continually point out irrelevant "differences" amongst people and watch them segregate themselves.

Race, beyond religion, is quite possibly the biggest divider of people in modern day history. The difference now is that there no longer seems to exists a constant "victim" as we know the word to be defined. We have victims, sure, but there is not a constant group that is victimized like there was decades ago.What we have now is a mass of people who perpetuate racism and continue to segregate themselves. The groups that were once victims have now become there own enslavers and in the process have become what they hate.

Seeing in color

How many times have you seen a head line in the news: White cop shoots black man. Well, what difference does the color of either of these people make? It doesn't. Why? Because someone died and someone has to live with killing for the rest of their life. Suffering knows no color. Newspapers print these headlines for sensationalism, not journalism.

How many times have you started off describing someone as a "black" person or a "white" person? Is that really a detail that should be acknowledged? Ask yourself this, do you talk to someone of your same color differently than when you talk to someone of a different color? I've seen black people in the southern United States do that a lot! It's startling to me. That's not something people want to hear, but it's my personal observation. As a Buddhist, it's silly to me. For Buddhists, there is no separation.  

Self inflicted segregation

I love movies. I'm an actor and a storyteller. I remember walking into a major retail store one day and looking through their movie section. I noticed they had divided their movies up by genre: Action, drama, horror, romance, etc. Then I noticed another section: Black Cinema. I thought, how ridiculous is that? Is this suggesting that black people can't enjoy all films or that they somehow have to watch movies that have predominately black actors? That's absurd. But what is crazier is that no one seemed to have a problem with a category of film that was sectioned by race, not genre.

What about B.E.T.? Black Entertainment Television. Why is this tolerated? Do you think we could have a channel called White Entertainment Television? No, we couldn't and we shouldn't. Nor should we have channels that segregate themselves in such ways. All this does is perpetuate the notion of separatism and it makes people somehow think that that's ok. Let me tell you, it's not ok, friends.  

Race in politics

During the election of America's first black president, people pushed the agenda of: "if you don't like him you are racist!" This unfairly pressured a lot of people and shut down a lot of necessary dialogue that should of taken place. Particularly after his first term. People innately don't want to be called racist. I actually saw a headline recently that said, "What to tell white people who didn't like Obama" Really? That is racist. (Because the premise of the article has to do with a person's color.) How about people didn't like his policies or his leadership. Neither had anything to do with his color. His election should of been more unifying than ever but he failed and we failed to make that happen. Lots of people made his election about color in order to gain an upper hand. This is an unspoken form of discrimination. While effective, it is still stone age thinking and should not be tolerated by anyone.

The disregarded discrimination

People hold a notion that if a group of people has been discriminated against, they as a people, can never be found to be discriminators. That is a false narrative. Anyone can be racist at any time. Anyone of any color.

The Equal Opportunity Act was put into place to make sure that employers were hiring a percentage quota of minorities. The reality was that if an employer didn't have enough minorities at their business, and a white person applied, the job would have to go to a minority even if they were less qualified. That is discrimination. When you choose someone based off of their skin color, you have discriminated. It is no better or no worse if the colors were reversed. Discrimination is discrimination.

College Scholarships are another example of discrimination. Take the United Negro College Fund. You get a scholarship because of your skin color and someone else can't get the same scholarship because of their skin? Yup, that's racism. Ironic, very much so. But we turn the other cheek. 

The N.A.A.C.P. National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. It is heart breaking that this organization even exists in 2017. Within it's own name, it is racist. It is self segregating. This is an ironic example of a group that has become what it allegedly stands against. But there lies the problem. Rather than be against something, stand for something. Don't be against war, be for peace. Don't be against racism, be for equality. Your approach toward circumstance can redefine it. 

Contributing to the problem

If you see in terms of race, then you have contributed to the problem. What you think about expands. When you decide to see differences, then differences will be what you see. To dissolve racism, we must approach it like we do love. We all want to be loved. There is old saying, "Before you can love anyone else, you must first love yourself." In regards to racism, if you don't like racism, then don't be a racist. Pretty simple but tough. It's tough because we often overlook our own forms of prejudice. We fail to acknowledge our own short sightedness and biases. In order to stop seeing differences, we must decide to see our similarities. I breathe, you breathe. I bleed, you bleed. I feel, you feel. Love is love. We are not our bodies but the consciousness that inhabits these temporary vessels called form (bodies).   

Labeling

We have been programmed since birth to label things: Good/bad. Right/wrong. Black/white. This is ok and that is not. Over and over. We take that labeling and we personify it. You can't be called simply American if you are a black man that was born in the United States. Nope. You have to be labeled, "African American". Even if you have never stepped foot into Africa. How much sense does that make? Seriously. I was born in America. I'm of mixed European decent but I don't call myself a "European American". Why? Because I'm American. But even that is a label. I'm not an immigrant. Our ancestors do not define me or you. You define you. Not your color or your family's past. We struggle to find our identities as humans so we gravitate to groups to make us feel like we are a part of something; all the while we are surrendering our commonality. You are not a slave because your ancestor was. You are not evil or oppressive because of the poor choices of others. You are this you, right now. Nothing else.

Owning guilt that isn't yours

Look at all the people in prison for, let's say, murder. Do you feel guilty that they murdered someone or do you feel guilty that they are in prison? No. Right? You wouldn't because you didn't have anything to do with them or their crimes. You may feel a sadness for the victims or for the murderers who threw their lives away, but you shouldn't have any guilt about it because you are not responsible.  A lot of white people turn the other cheek when they should see racial unfairness in society and they seem to go way above and beyond in tolerating what is termed, reversed racism. The fact is, modern day people didn't contribute to slavery. Nearly every race of people were slaves at one time on this planet. I never owned anyone and no one is entitled to anything at this time in our nation because they, themselves, were never owned. Your guilt, changes nothing. Your guilt is unjust, imaginary, and useless. Nor are you a victim simply because someone you were related to was. So enough already.

Having a victim attitude

There is no such thing as privilege. White, black, or otherwise. Your life is your own. You are not your color, your bank account, or your circumstance. Privilege is an illusion and is perpetuated by people who don't want to solve their own problems. You are accountable. You are the sum total of your choices. You choose who you are. You can choose to be a victim or anything else you want to be. If you want to be loved, then you must choose to be love. Your perception of life defines your experience.

Race is an illusion. It is like a child's game of pretend. Or like a Halloween costume party where you somehow believe you actually are the character you dressed up as. It's not real. We can wake up though. We can realize the true nature of this experience. We can choose to take off the masks and be who we are. One race. One song.

Emptying Your Cup

"To find yourself, think for yourself." ~ Socrates

There was an older Christian pastor who, every morning, would start his day off by reading his bible and then taking a walk down this long country road as part of his devotion. A little ways off of this particular road was a temple where Buddhist monks lived. At the same time of day each morning, the pastor would always see the monks sitting together in silence, peacefully meditating. The pastor thought that the monks' souls were surely lost and he wanted to see them go to his church and find salvation.

One Sunday, after church, the pastor walked to the temple to speak to the head monk, the Abbot, and ask him about their "pagan" practices. The pastor eagerly wanted to tell the monks about Jesus. The Abbot of the temple, promptly greeted the pastor and invited him in for tea. The pastor sat down with the Abbot and asked the Abbot why he meditated. The Abbot replied, "To tame the mind."

The pastor then explained his beliefs and how Jesus was the only way to salvation. He was primed and ready for a debate with the head monk. The Abbot, unfazed at the explosion of biblical information, simply sat two tea cups between them, smiled, and said, "Buddhism does not need your religion to be wrong for it to be right." The pastor, frustrated, continued preaching to the Abbot. The pastor gave a thunderous sermon of hell, fire, and brimstone that would be worthy of a revival.  

The Abbot took his tea pot and began pouring tea into his cup and then he poured the pastor a cup. The pastor continued to go on and on about damnation and salvation. The Abbot continued to pour tea into the pastor's cup. And he kept pouring. And pouring. Tea started overflowing the cup and spilling everywhere onto the table. The pastor, stunned,  finally jumped up and shouted, "Stop! The cup is full!" The Abbot stopped pouring the tea, looked up at the pastor, smiled, and said, "This cup is an illustration of your mind. Your mind is full and will not hold anymore knowledge. You will never be able to taste the knowledge of others without first empting your cup..."

Everyone has questions about life; from who are we to what is our purpose. When we look at conventional places for answers, we usually end up regurgitating quotes from a book, a pastor, or reciting some obscure bible verse. None of which seems to really fully answer our more deeper psychological and philosophical questions. The major religions all say that their religion is the one true religion and everyone else is wrong and or going to hell. Yikes!!! We may never find all of the answers we seek but what other ways can we begin to find them?

Give yourself space

Even in a civilized society we can feel ostracized for doubting and seeking answers outside of conventional teachings. Don't feel bad about challenging things. It's okay to ask questions. EVERYONE does! Not everyone will admit it, but they do. News flash- we are suppose to ask questions! That's a part of learning! Seeking truth is the first step in acquiring truth. Trying to understand your life's purpose is your individual right as a human. Allow yourself some room to grow and process information and never apologize for trying to better yourself.  

Take a break from organized religious groups

Perception can change your individual life experience, either for the good or the bad. What I mean is who you are now is not who you used to be and is ultimately not who you will become. It's important to change your perception and look at things through different angles. To do that you have to step back and see things as they are, without other people's input. It's hard to get a fresh look at things when you are surrounded by a people who have only one view.

Realize that no one knows it all

Whether people want to admit it or not, we are using a tremendous amount of guess work about the essence of life and death. I don't think anyone alive knows what happens when we die, spiritually speaking. We can understand and prove what happens to our physical bodies because we have a pretty clear grasp of medicine and the biology of physical death but no one is coming back in a metaphysical way to enlighten us about the here after. Since that's the case, give yourself permission to find your own faith and your own ideas about it, and at the same time, give others their space to find their truth.  It may or may not be in line with others or the mainstream. Either is fine.

Walk in nature
We live in a structured and mechanical society. We ride in cars, breathing exhaust. We sit in front of computer screens for hours. We sit in front of TVs when we are off. Many of us lead sedentary lives. We weren't made to do that. We are hunters and gathers by design. We need sunlight. We need the oxygen from the plants. Plants and vitamin D are both proven to have stress reliving affects on humans. Go outside. Take a walk in your local park. Even if it's on your lunch break, take 15 minutes and walk outside. Take mindful breathes. Observe the green shades of the trees, grass, and flower stems. Hear the birds. Feel the sun on your face. Be there and be present. 

Pray your own way
If it is reading from a book, sitting in a half lotus and meditating, taking a walk and thinking about life, doing yoga, working in the garage, whatever... pray how and where you feel comfortable. Your time here is sacred and limited. The time you spend reflecting on your spirit and your god / universe / or your being is your own personal design. No one gets to define that. No one. Not your spouse, parents, teachers, pastors, friends, no one. The way you honor your being and your connection to the universe is yours. And it's okay. You get to define yourself and you get to define how you pray.

Read all kinds of books
Knowledge is power. Self knowledge is essential for your growth in this lifetime. There is so much knowledge in so many different pieces of literature out there. Everything from the Dharma to the works of Socrates, Alan Watts, Carl Sagan down to the Bhagavad Gita. There is so much amazing material out there designed to wake you up and make you think. There is a reason that churches and governments restricted learning and even burned books that deviated from their ideology.

Keep an open your mind
When we speak, we are simply repeating what we know. There is no room for growth there. When we listen and take in the ideas of others, we grow. Life, ideas, and practice is not always about right and wrong; Often times, it is about what is better for us, the individual. We label so much and so many things in this life. Strive to be open in a way that doesn't compromise your integrity or morals but allows you to have space to learn and grow.

Live your philosophy

One of the biggest fallacies in all organized religions is a collective fail of its followers to actually practice the beliefs of their system. We can examine the teachings of Christ, Abraham, Buddha and so forth and they all have a common message of love, forgiveness, and understanding. If we are to subscribe to their messages; it is essential that we live those messages, not just read about it or go to church. No matter what your faith, if any, your life is your testimony. It doesn't matter how much money you gave in the offering plate, or what car you drove, or your job, no... It is the impact you left on people, animals, and the planet throughout your life that will tell what you truly believed.

There will always be unanswered questions, my friends. I still have more questions than answers. However, you are free to ask, free to search, and free to mold your own being the way you see fit. Understanding life, God, the universe, people... all of it begins with asking and understanding your own being. Namaste.

Facing Your Own Bullsh*t

"How others treat you is their karma; how you respond is yours." ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Long ago, it was said that a man sought out the Buddha because the man's sons had become followers of the Buddha. The man was angry with the Buddha for "distracting" his sons. When the man found the him, he yelled and screamed in his face; even going so far as to spit on the Buddha. But the Buddha only reacted by smiling at the man. The man, even more angry because he got no reaction from the Buddha, stormed off. One of the followers asked the Buddha, "Teacher, how can you do nothing at the actions of that man?" The Buddha asked his follower, "If you bring a gift to someone and they don't want it, to whom does the gift belong to?" The follower thought a moment and said, "It would belong to me." The Buddha, responded, "Exactly. The man's anger, like the gift, is his and his alone."

We have to first understand ourselves clearly, then we can understand others...

A life changing lesson
One of the greatest lessons I've learned in life is this: How people treat you or speak to you is often a reflection of themselves, not you, and where they are on their journey. Remember that the next time you have a difficult interaction with someone. We live in such a 'me' centered world now a days. It's easy to interject ourselves into everything and everyone. We, far too often, believe the world somehow revolves around us. And we automatically assume that when someone snaps at us or is curt toward us, it's because we did or said something wrong. Well, that's not necessarily always the case. We're not always at fault.
If the cashier at the grocery gives me an attitude, I try to remind myself that it's not me. I just got there and was in no way responsible for that person's attitude. I don't know what happened this morning to him or her nor do I know what struggles they are facing right at that moment. I just happened to be the poor shmuck that gets handed their attitude. That person could be facing eviction, illness, a break up, maybe they didn't sleep well. It could be any number of things. By doing this, I develop empathy toward that human being. (Now if I started off being an ass to them, then it's my fault and I need to face my own bullshit!)

Blaming, redirecting, and finger pointing
When people aren't properly dealing with or facing their own baggage, they will try to take the spotlight off of themselves. Let's face it, I've done it. You've done it. It is far easier to point out the flaws in others rather then pointing out flaws in ourselves. It takes strength, honesty, and accountability to take a hard look at ourselves. People don't like to do that. It's painful! So they blame others for their circumstances or short comings. They point out the alleged flaws in others. It is essential that you are mindful of this. I always say, "If I'm going to point a finger at someone, then I have to point three at myself." We get so caught up in comparing ourselves to others that we feel like we are less than what we really are.

People project their pain
Often times when people are hurting they will project their pain toward anyone or anything that is around them. Sometimes, they don't even have to say a word, you can just feel the tension radiating from them. Stress is, by my definition, a state of being where the mind refuses to accept reality. When you are at odds with yourself, your life, or your circumstances, you take those stresses and struggles with you everywhere you go. And it becomes obvious to those around you. Generally, happy people smile. And on the flip side, sad people frown and angry people are aggressive. If you don't accept and let go of the things you can't change, then you are going to lash out with those unresolved feelings; often at the people who love you. If you don't deal with reality and really figure out who you are, you will project your strife onto others. I've been guilty of this numerous times in the past, myself.

So the question is: How do we face our own bullshit?

When you know yourself, you know yourself
No matter what you believe about yourself, you are by nature: truth, consciousness, and bliss. That's what you are. No more. No less. You are the same as your neighbor. You are no worse or no better than anybody. No one is any better or worse than you. We get so caught up thinking that we are defined by our stuff, or our bodies, or our grades, or jobs, or groups we belong to. Pick anything. It's all illusion. It really is. These are false identities. We buy into the illusion of this because too many of us measure one another by all of these labels. Those things are not you. When you can accept and yield to what you are, then knowing what you aren't becomes so beside the point that it really will change your response and perspective to those around you.

Stop measuring
Stop measuring yourself against other people. One of the absolute truths about this life is this: you are not in competition with anyone. The pressure that you feel to keep up with the Kardashians or the Jones' or the man on the moon... is entirely self inflicted. We, as a society, have this nasty habit of always comparing our houses, our cars, our bodies, our intellect, our bank accounts, etc., with everyone else. We do that because we are seeking happiness outside of our own being and we live in a culture that is fast, flashy, and materialistic. We are compensating for a lack of personal security. This is your ego. And your ego's job is to sabotage your happiness. Your job is to destroy your ego.

Meditate
I am a huge advocate of meditation. It's that quiet time that it is just you, your thoughts, your feelings. It is a moment of mindfulness of the present; the here and now. I truly recommend beginning each day with meditation. There will be people, particularly those who have uninformed opinions or religious views, who may not want to practice meditation because they don't understand the psychology of it. That's okay. You don't need to sit in some lotus position under a Bodhi tree to enjoy the peace of mind of meditation. We all have to breathe to survive. Just take a moment to stand still and breathe. Take 10 controlled breaths and clear your mind. Be nowhere but the present. You will find a greater peace and calm afterward. Even just a little bit will help you. Meditate and think on yourself. You can't learn about yourself without looking within. Tame your mind.

Practice being kind, not just right
There are so many times when we just have to be right. We have to fight for a cause, or a campaign, or be part of an ideology that we believe is the only way. That human characteristic has destroyed more relationships, friendships, families, churches, and nations than it has ever rewarded. There is a time to stand your ground but you have to weigh the cost of it. Is being right more important than being at peace? Or is there vindication in holding your ground? Pausing for an analytical moment to decide which is more efficient, will often make a huge difference in your mind and the out come of the situation.

Acknowledge your bullshit
When we delve into our own baggage, we can acknowledge our issues more clearly. When we admit that there is an issue, then we can begin to understand it and resolve it. When we understand our own issues and being, we can then connect to and better understand others and the world around us more effectively. This life is a process, a journey, not a destination. You have to continually reexamine yourself as you continue to further know and understand yourself. Life is a collection of lessons and opportunities. Life is not about perfection. Life is about growth.

All Men Aren't Pigs

"All men are pigs!" - said, the hurt and the ignorant

The other day I was at my local gym working out and I over heard this conversation between this older guy and his much younger, good looking, female trainer. I don't make it a habit to ease drop, but this man was so loud that it was hard not to hear him. The man was probably late 40's but was in fantastic shape. Big solid muscles, tattoos, and a high and tight hair cut on this guy. He probably should of been training his trainer. But, I'm thinking he hired her to look at more than to learn how to train since he clearly was in great shape.

At one point the man says to the young female trainer, "All men are pigs... me included." And she responds with, "Yeah, my uncle always told me that." As a man, I immediately surmised two things: One, he was clearly trying to disarm this young lady and gain her trust by essentially throwing her mentally off balance by making a statement that is polar opposite to someone who would be hitting on someone. And two, That guy may in fact be a "pig" but I'm certain not every man is. And this doesn't just apply to men but women as well. Here is a few ideas to help dispel the pig stereotype:

Be the good in the world

There is a great line from someone, "The world is full of good people. If you can't find one, then be one." As I over heard the trainer and that creepy guy's conversation (yeah, he was creepy), that line rang into my mind. It was interesting to me that anyone would claim to be not good and then point collectively at every other man and claim that they aren't any better. "The world is full of good people. If you can't find one, then be one." 

Do unto others...

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Your actions, your thoughts, your words, can dramatically shift not only your day but the day of those around you. We have incredible power over others. You have the ability to make someone cry, make them laugh, or make them blush. Be mindful of such a power. Speak to people how you want them to speak to you. If you don't want to be cut off in traffic, then don't cut other people off. If you want people to take a moment to understand you, then be patient with others and try to understand them. If you are just starting your day or perhaps preparing for your day tomorrow, you don't have to actively plan to do good, just travel with a mindset that you will treat others as you would want them to treat you.

Be empathetic

The next time you see someone who you think might be less than you in some way such as maybe they aren't as thin or pretty or wealthy or as good at sports or as good of a parent as you think you are, stop and put yourself in their shoes. Stop and think that you are the sum total of your experiences in this life just like them. Everyone of us is the product of our living experience. Our childhood. Our opportunities (or lack of). Our relationships. Our overall response to this life. Everyone bleeds. Everyone feels. All of us want to feel loved and successful. I don't care who you are, we all feel that. It is one of the many clues that we are all connected yet one of the most over looked clue.

Be open

As you navigate through the day, be open to any and all opportunities to be kind and be a blessing to others. It's amazing how caught up we can be with our own lives, our own little problems, and self inflicted dramas that we often over look the easiest times to be a decent human being. I remember the other week I was driving out of the parking lot of a grocery store where I had just bought a bunch of groceries. At the edge of the road I was about to turn on, I looked and saw a lady holding a sign that was asking people for food. Not money. Not gas. Food. I reached into one of the bags and I shared some food with her. She didn't speak English, but she spoke the universal language of gratitude. She was a human in need. All I could think driving home was how lucky I was to be driving a nice truck, filled with a week's worth of food, and headed to a home out of the elements.

Slow your roll

We are so quick to judge. We are so quick to say something negative to someone or to gossip. How about when we think of something positive, start to say that just as fast as the negative. When you see someone having a bad day, why not lift them up? Why not tell someone that they are beautiful? Why not reach out when you miss someone? That doesn't cost a dime. Before you speak, act, whatever, just think for two seconds how you would respond to someone if the roles were reversed. We live in unique times. We live in a fast paced world. We get frustrated with technology, traffic, our day, all of it just doesn't move fast enough for us somedays. But when we slow down,  when we are mindful, that's when we can fully be present and prevent missteps in our day more easily. And we can have a much better day!

It won't matter in 5 years or 5 minutes

When something doesn't go "right" for me, I always try to remind myself that chances are whatever just happened won't matter soon. It won't matter years from now. It won't define me. I define me. You define you. Not what happens to you, not your circumstances. You. If I bomb an audition for a TV show (which I have numerous times), or someone passes up work I've done, or a woman turns me down for a date, or someone cuts me off in traffic... it won't matter in the long run. Truly. How you react to things, people, and circumstance is ultimately how you will define your happiness and experience in your life. 

Earlier I mentioned that young, pretty, trainer said that her own uncle told her that 'all men are pigs'. I'm inclined to believe he said that to protect her, so that she would guard her body and her heart. While he made a very jaded statement, his intention came from a good place. He knew that there are lots of guys out there who would try to take advantage of her. We can't change other people. We can only change ourselves. But if we all collectively work to change ourselves for the better, then we can make our homes, our communities, our nation, and our planet a much better place.