The other day I was at my local gym working out and I over heard this conversation between this older guy and his much younger, good looking, female trainer. I don't make it a habit to ease drop, but this man was so loud that it was hard not to hear him. The man was probably late 40's but was in fantastic shape. Big solid muscles, tattoos, and a high and tight hair cut on this guy. He probably should of been training his trainer. But, I'm thinking he hired her to look at more than to learn how to train since he clearly was in great shape.
At one point the man says to the young female trainer, "All men are pigs... me included." And she responds with, "Yeah, my uncle always told me that." As a man, I immediately surmised two things: One, he was clearly trying to disarm this young lady and gain her trust by essentially throwing her mentally off balance by making a statement that is polar opposite to someone who would be hitting on someone. And two, That guy may in fact be a "pig" but I'm certain not every man is. And this doesn't just apply to men but women as well. Here is a few ideas to help dispel the pig stereotype:
Be the good in the world
There is a great line from someone, "The world is full of good people. If you can't find one, then be one." As I over heard the trainer and that creepy guy's conversation (yeah, he was creepy), that line rang into my mind. It was interesting to me that anyone would claim to be not good and then point collectively at every other man and claim that they aren't any better. "The world is full of good people. If you can't find one, then be one."
Do unto others...
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Your actions, your thoughts, your words, can dramatically shift not only your day but the day of those around you. We have incredible power over others. You have the ability to make someone cry, make them laugh, or make them blush. Be mindful of such a power. Speak to people how you want them to speak to you. If you don't want to be cut off in traffic, then don't cut other people off. If you want people to take a moment to understand you, then be patient with others and try to understand them. If you are just starting your day or perhaps preparing for your day tomorrow, you don't have to actively plan to do good, just travel with a mindset that you will treat others as you would want them to treat you.
Be empathetic
The next time you see someone who you think might be less than you in some way such as maybe they aren't as thin or pretty or wealthy or as good at sports or as good of a parent as you think you are, stop and put yourself in their shoes. Stop and think that you are the sum total of your experiences in this life just like them. Everyone of us is the product of our living experience. Our childhood. Our opportunities (or lack of). Our relationships. Our overall response to this life. Everyone bleeds. Everyone feels. All of us want to feel loved and successful. I don't care who you are, we all feel that. It is one of the many clues that we are all connected yet one of the most over looked clue.
Be open
As you navigate through the day, be open to any and all opportunities to be kind and be a blessing to others. It's amazing how caught up we can be with our own lives, our own little problems, and self inflicted dramas that we often over look the easiest times to be a decent human being. I remember the other week I was driving out of the parking lot of a grocery store where I had just bought a bunch of groceries. At the edge of the road I was about to turn on, I looked and saw a lady holding a sign that was asking people for food. Not money. Not gas. Food. I reached into one of the bags and I shared some food with her. She didn't speak English, but she spoke the universal language of gratitude. She was a human in need. All I could think driving home was how lucky I was to be driving a nice truck, filled with a week's worth of food, and headed to a home out of the elements.
Slow your roll
We are so quick to judge. We are so quick to say something negative to someone or to gossip. How about when we think of something positive, start to say that just as fast as the negative. When you see someone having a bad day, why not lift them up? Why not tell someone that they are beautiful? Why not reach out when you miss someone? That doesn't cost a dime. Before you speak, act, whatever, just think for two seconds how you would respond to someone if the roles were reversed. We live in unique times. We live in a fast paced world. We get frustrated with technology, traffic, our day, all of it just doesn't move fast enough for us somedays. But when we slow down, when we are mindful, that's when we can fully be present and prevent missteps in our day more easily. And we can have a much better day!
It won't matter in 5 years or 5 minutes
When something doesn't go "right" for me, I always try to remind myself that chances are whatever just happened won't matter soon. It won't matter years from now. It won't define me. I define me. You define you. Not what happens to you, not your circumstances. You. If I bomb an audition for a TV show (which I have numerous times), or someone passes up work I've done, or a woman turns me down for a date, or someone cuts me off in traffic... it won't matter in the long run. Truly. How you react to things, people, and circumstance is ultimately how you will define your happiness and experience in your life.
Earlier I mentioned that young, pretty, trainer said that her own uncle told her that 'all men are pigs'. I'm inclined to believe he said that to protect her, so that she would guard her body and her heart. While he made a very jaded statement, his intention came from a good place. He knew that there are lots of guys out there who would try to take advantage of her. We can't change other people. We can only change ourselves. But if we all collectively work to change ourselves for the better, then we can make our homes, our communities, our nation, and our planet a much better place.
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