"Live your life like you're the hero in your movie." ~ Joe Rogan
How many TV shows, movies, and books have been made that depict a character that is down on their luck, beat down by life, and just has the odds stacked against them but somehow they turn things around and win in the end? Have you ever fantasized that you were one of those characters? Maybe you were Julia Roberts in, "Pretty Woman," or perhaps you were Rocky Balboa in the "Rocky," films. No matter what the odds or the struggles, the good people win in the end, right?
Well that's what we want to believe about ourselves. But a lot of times in life, it just doesn't feel like we're going to find Prince Charming or win the big title fight. No matter how hard we swim, we can easily find ourselves feeling trapped in a perpetual rip current of challenge and disappointment. Whether it's with our relationships (or lack of), our finances, maybe we are being bullied, or we don't like what we see in the mirror; the battles we fight can often be on the inside too. So how do you fix it? How do you turn your story around and start to win? How can you become the hero in your movie?
Have a vision
When I was growing up, I was a very small child. I remember my third grade teacher pulled me aside and asked me if my parents fed me. I'm not exaggerating. I ate like a horse. I was just a really little guy back then. Being unable to put on size haunted me through my entire adolescent life. I was continuously bullied at school and walking home from school. I was beaten up a number of times for being a skinny, long haired, white boy, in a very racially diverse town. The bullying led me to have a lack of confidence in myself for years. But for me, I wanted to change my story. I was sick of getting beat down physically and mentally. Growing up, I watched every Bruce Lee, Steven Seagal, and Jean Claude Van Damme movie ever made. I thought muscles and martial arts were the answer to my struggles. I secretly aspired to grow up and be an action actor, just like my heroes. While sitting on the living room floor watching my action movies, I developed a vision.
When I was growing up, I was a very small child. I remember my third grade teacher pulled me aside and asked me if my parents fed me. I'm not exaggerating. I ate like a horse. I was just a really little guy back then. Being unable to put on size haunted me through my entire adolescent life. I was continuously bullied at school and walking home from school. I was beaten up a number of times for being a skinny, long haired, white boy, in a very racially diverse town. The bullying led me to have a lack of confidence in myself for years. But for me, I wanted to change my story. I was sick of getting beat down physically and mentally. Growing up, I watched every Bruce Lee, Steven Seagal, and Jean Claude Van Damme movie ever made. I thought muscles and martial arts were the answer to my struggles. I secretly aspired to grow up and be an action actor, just like my heroes. While sitting on the living room floor watching my action movies, I developed a vision.
Ask yourself, "Who do I want to be?"
It seems like as adults, we can't have dreams anymore. It's like dreams are kid stuff. But that isn't true. It's the child like passion that burns in us as adults that fuels our hopes and dreams and reminds us that we are still alive, and still in the game. Often times, we find in our adult lives that things didn't work out like we thought they would when we were children. The good news is, it's okay. It's okay that we made plays and went in different directions. It's okay that we listened to others instead of our own voices. Not everyone becomes a doctor or an astronaut. That's the lessons that we need in life. We need to be challenged in life too. We need to be pushed to grow. But you have to ask yourself what do you want to be and what do you want to do. What are your passions? What do you want to change? Why do you want to change? Who do you want to be? Not what your parents, teachers, spouse, or kids want you to be, but you!
It seems like as adults, we can't have dreams anymore. It's like dreams are kid stuff. But that isn't true. It's the child like passion that burns in us as adults that fuels our hopes and dreams and reminds us that we are still alive, and still in the game. Often times, we find in our adult lives that things didn't work out like we thought they would when we were children. The good news is, it's okay. It's okay that we made plays and went in different directions. It's okay that we listened to others instead of our own voices. Not everyone becomes a doctor or an astronaut. That's the lessons that we need in life. We need to be challenged in life too. We need to be pushed to grow. But you have to ask yourself what do you want to be and what do you want to do. What are your passions? What do you want to change? Why do you want to change? Who do you want to be? Not what your parents, teachers, spouse, or kids want you to be, but you!
Move toward your vision each day
By the time I was 13, I was training in martial arts after school. I became absolutely committed to transforming my body, my mind, and my life. I was determined to win, to get the girl, and ride off into the sunset, just like my movie star heroes always did. My after school activities became filled with split kicks, sparring, katas, and meditation. Between classes I would curl "heavy" items, do push ups, sit ups, and read every issue of Black Belt magazine I could get my hands on. I put action behind my vision!
By the time I was 13, I was training in martial arts after school. I became absolutely committed to transforming my body, my mind, and my life. I was determined to win, to get the girl, and ride off into the sunset, just like my movie star heroes always did. My after school activities became filled with split kicks, sparring, katas, and meditation. Between classes I would curl "heavy" items, do push ups, sit ups, and read every issue of Black Belt magazine I could get my hands on. I put action behind my vision!
Practice, practice, practice
If you want to be a good swimmer, you have to get in the water. It won't do you much good to just run around the pool if being a good swimmer is your goal. Likewise, if you want to lose weight, you can't eat everything you want. If you are shy and you want to be a good public speaker, then you have to seize opportunities to speak in front of people.
If you want to be a good swimmer, you have to get in the water. It won't do you much good to just run around the pool if being a good swimmer is your goal. Likewise, if you want to lose weight, you can't eat everything you want. If you are shy and you want to be a good public speaker, then you have to seize opportunities to speak in front of people.
For me, it meant thousands of hours of martial arts classes, weight lifting sessions, and later on- acting and dialect classes. Fear of failure stops so many people. Fear kills more dreams than anything else. You have to tell yourself that not knowing what you could become is far scarier than failing at trying to achieve it.
Concentrate everyday on winning and achieving your goals
Believe it or not, what you think about- expands. Meaning, if you want to make more money but always concentrate on how broke you are, then you will always be broke. Your mind is sort of like a programmer and the universe is like a genie. What your mind thinks about and programs, the universe will answer, "As you wish." Like I said, what you think about expands. You are the creator of your life. It is beside the point whether or not you believe this, but we live in a universe that is both organic and reactionary to you. When I was growing up and I told people that I wanted to be a great martial artist and a television actor, I usually got an eye roll followed by a "Yeah, right Jeff. No way!" Even some of my family thought I was crazy. I remember when I quit school to pursue acting, my older brother dumped all over me for it. Even he didn't believe in me. But I didn't consider what the odds were or nor did I put much stock in the notion of a predisposed "destiny." I remained on task and remained focused. Even a few years later when I lost my father, faced eviction, endured homelessness, had to enlist in the Army and go through all of that; I kept my vision in my mind. No matter what was happening around me, I held a clear image in my mind of what I wanted to be and how I wanted to do it.
Believe it or not, what you think about- expands. Meaning, if you want to make more money but always concentrate on how broke you are, then you will always be broke. Your mind is sort of like a programmer and the universe is like a genie. What your mind thinks about and programs, the universe will answer, "As you wish." Like I said, what you think about expands. You are the creator of your life. It is beside the point whether or not you believe this, but we live in a universe that is both organic and reactionary to you. When I was growing up and I told people that I wanted to be a great martial artist and a television actor, I usually got an eye roll followed by a "Yeah, right Jeff. No way!" Even some of my family thought I was crazy. I remember when I quit school to pursue acting, my older brother dumped all over me for it. Even he didn't believe in me. But I didn't consider what the odds were or nor did I put much stock in the notion of a predisposed "destiny." I remained on task and remained focused. Even a few years later when I lost my father, faced eviction, endured homelessness, had to enlist in the Army and go through all of that; I kept my vision in my mind. No matter what was happening around me, I held a clear image in my mind of what I wanted to be and how I wanted to do it.
Never, ever, quit
I always tell people that if you don't ask, the answer is always, "No." Likewise if you quit on yourself or on your vision, you are then guaranteed failure. Your vision will never manifest if you abandon it. It's not enough to sit in your room and just dream and think positive thoughts. While that is good to do, it is still only a part of the formula to success. Thoughts lead to feelings. Feelings lead to intention. Intention leads to action. Action leads to results. There were times I had to put things on hold, but I knew whenever I could, I had to regain focus and start down the course again and again till I won. When things go bad, and everything is shit, you stand up in front of your mirror and you tell yourself, "It's not over until I win!" You repeat that again and again. Everyday.
I always tell people that if you don't ask, the answer is always, "No." Likewise if you quit on yourself or on your vision, you are then guaranteed failure. Your vision will never manifest if you abandon it. It's not enough to sit in your room and just dream and think positive thoughts. While that is good to do, it is still only a part of the formula to success. Thoughts lead to feelings. Feelings lead to intention. Intention leads to action. Action leads to results. There were times I had to put things on hold, but I knew whenever I could, I had to regain focus and start down the course again and again till I won. When things go bad, and everything is shit, you stand up in front of your mirror and you tell yourself, "It's not over until I win!" You repeat that again and again. Everyday.
People who knew me long ago are stunned that I made good on what I saw for myself. I became a black belt, a semi-pro kickboxing champion and I'm now a working television and movie actor, model, and writer. (And I'm not even done yet!)
If you would of asked people 20 years ago if they saw that was my "destiny," they would of laughed. I saw tremendous set backs to my goals. Even today, I struggle from time to time. Just like you. And I do the same things I'm telling you to do. Remember, if an orphaned, skinny, bullied, little kid, from Fayetteville, North Carolina, can transform his life, why the hell can't you? The answer is you can!
Find your passion. Have a vision. Focus. Don't quit. If you fall down, you get up!
Stay positive. Commit to your vision. You are the author of your story. You can change your life. You are the hero in your movie. Go to work.
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