Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Five Illusions of Social Media

"Mirrors lie. They don't show you what's on the inside." - Anonymous 


We use social media as a way to keep in touch with people and to share our personal expressions and views. While expressing yourself can be a healthy thing, here are a few ways that people are using Facebook and other social media platforms in ways that may not always be that healthy and how we are falling for the illusions of it all.

We use Facebook / Instagram to project a life that we wish we had.
You can log into Facebook or Instagram at any time and your news feed will be flooded with smiling "selfies," grand dinners, and big adventures. It looks like everyone is on a permanent vacation if you take what you see at face value. But it's really not true. The fact is, what you see, is seldom what you get or what's actually going on behind the pictures. People don't post pictures of their credit card debt, their loneliness, their insecurities, their cellulite, lies, or their boredom. Rest assured, most people have all of those things going on at one time or another. Not that you'd know it by their Instagram.

Social media has become the narcissist's nirvana.
Selfies, cleavage, abs, and seat belt car shots seem to flood our social media. Rather than deal with insecurities, many of us seem to think that if we get lots of "likes" on our pictures and posts that somehow we are validated as human beings. If people are envious of us, that means we are doing something right, right? No. Not really. What it means is that there is a void inside that we are trying to fill externally and we are using people and their presumed envy or admiration to fuel that desire to feel whole. All the while you we are already whole; you just have to realize it. Your lack of feeling complete comes from an amnesia that you are born with. Part of your journey is that of discovery. Remember that.

Social media is used as the Keyboard Commando's weapon.
You know this type of person. It's the person who spouts off ridiculous statements and insults that they would never say to someone in person. They simply hide behind their keyboard and type whatever unfiltered remarks that they feel so inclined to make no matter how hurtful or untrue it may be. Facts have little barring on these individuals and they are often incredibly confrontational online. These people are toxic. It's easy to get swept away in their chatter and baited into full on online arguments. When we engage in this type of banter, we surrender our joy and peace for nothing. You are not here to persuade anyone or "win" any debates. Your social media, like your mind, is up to you to direct. You can take it to uplifting places or down to the gutters.

We feel we have to keep up with the Jones'.
You saw that new car, that boat, that big house 'so and so' bought. Or maybe you see that happy couple that looks like they have a full on Cinderella story going on. You start looking around at your life and suddenly you feel... well...  inferior and less successful than you'd like. You're still renting an apartment. You're still single and even the cat doesn't like you.  It's as if you can't keep up with those around you or you feel that you'll never attain the life you think others have on social media. Good news- It's all bullshit. Really it is. Complete, total, and utter... bullshit. It's a fantasy. A subjective reality. A perception. Nothing is as it seems. Even the biggest structure is made of tiny atoms. Nothing... is.... as it seems. That vacation racked up more debt and stress than it was worth. That boat payment means more time at work to pay for it. That mortgage is massive. Take the pressure off your shoulders. When you desire more, you sacrifice your peace. Your peace is priceless.

The Social Media Journal
Another trap to avoid is using your social media like a journal. Seriously. Do not post or write about your relationships, finances, jobs, or anything that people can use to harm you. It feels good to "vent" but too often we put out way too personal information on our media pages and we forget just how big our audience is. Not every Facebook "friend" is a true friend. You might not think about it, but that's the problem. We don't see it until it's too late and we open ourselves up to unnecessary scrutiny. The people who truly care about you are far and few between. That's not just true for you, it's true for all of us. Your real personal connections go much deeper than your computer or your phone.

The bottom line is this: Social Media, Facebook, Instagram, etc... are all illusions my friends. They aren't real. The lives people post about are seldom the same as your perceptions of them. How we view these things are often filtered by our own egos, insecurities, and self doubt. What we see is only granted power by our decision to assign emotion to it. It is our own egos' reflection that we see. The good news is that once you understand this, the pressure is off of you. In fact, our pressure was always self inflicted to begin with. Life is not a contest but an experience. Nothing more, nothing less. Don't be caught up in posting about your life, be caught up in living it.

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