Sunday, August 27, 2017

10 Behaviors You Need to Stop Right Now

"We create our fate every day... most of the ills we suffer from are directly traceable to our own behavior." - Henry Miller 


There is clearly an abundance of negativity in the world today. You can find all kinds of negative programming from social media, to magazines, and even the "news" now adays. It almost seems impossible to escape it. I guess you could try to live off the grid or bury your head in the sand. But I think the easier solution is to just shine your light in this dark world. We have to become more mindful of our thoughts and actions and put a little bit of effort into not changing but shifting to better individual behavior. Here's a list of behaviors that we should shift away from that contribute to negativity in our everyday lives.

Not responded to texts, emails, and messages.
If it's work, a friend, acquaintance, or someone you don't care two cents about; if they took the time from their day to text or message you, then you need to take a moment and respond. It's common courtesy. When you don't respond to people, what you are saying by your silence is, "You don't matter." That is a very nasty and disrespectful thing to convey to someone. If they give you their time, give them a moment of yours. You would want the same respect.

Continuously making negative political posts
You don't have to like politics or politicians but always trashing your country and its sitting president or representives does nothing good for you or anyone else. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you don't like who is in office, rather than complain endlessly and saying terrible things, show up on election day and vote. If your person still doesn't win, get over it and move on with your life. Your opinion doesn't change the world, your actions and attitude does.

Not saying, "thank you."
I'm not sure when manners went out of style, but it's time to at least dust off gratitude and say, "thank you" when it's applicable. If someone holds a door for you, tells you that they hope you have a good day, compliments you, or does something that in some way impacts your life for the better, thank them! It shows them that you acknowledge that they did something for you and that you are grateful. You have the power to make everyone around you feel appreciated. Do you want to feel appreciated? Yes. Spoiler alert- So does everyone else.

Interrupting people while they are speaking
Yeah, most of us are guilty of this one. Here's what happens when you interrupt someone speaking. No matter what you are saying, your message becomes- "Your opinion and voice are less important than mine. I wasn't even listening to half of what you were saying because I was busy thinking about what I was going to say." Pretty shitty, huh? If you will genuinely listen to others, you will learn so much AND you give people the spotlight to shine their light and feel like they truly have a voice. We all should have a voice.

Not letting people get over in traffic
Where are we going and why do we have to get there so fast? Why not let someone get in front of you in traffic when they need to? Often times that little bastard nasty called, the ego, takes the wheel, hits the gas, and says, "You aren't getting in front of me!" Next time when you see someone trying to get over, instead of making it a race car challenge, realize that they are in need. They need help. They are trying to get somewhere too. (Just like you). Letting people into your lane reduces stress for them, you, and surrounding motorists. It keeps traffic flowing and can prevent road rage. Remember, you are no more important than anyone else and no one is any more important than you.

Spending hours on social media
Social media has become an addiction for many of us. It has become the narcissist's crack. While you are busy worrying about trying to impress others, getting attention on your 800th "selfie," and trying to compare yourself with the Jones', your life is slipping away. On your death bed do you really think you are going to regret all the time you weren't on your phone? No. You are going to wish that you were more present in real life rather than always having your attention on your phone. Rather than making selfies, make memories. 

Being jealous 
Being jealous of anyone or anything is completely self inflicted and a mark of immaturity. It is as ridiculous as purposely banging your head into a wall. You are 100% responsible for yourself, your life, your happiness. No one else. If you don't like your life or you envy someone else, take the energy and time you spend being jealous and apply it to reshaping your life into something more. We can't always choose the cards we are dealt but we can choose how the hell we play the hand.

Being easily offended
Folks, no one can hurt your feelings or offend you without your consent. Every one is different. Not every one is going to agree with you, like you, or support your way of life. When you get offended easily, it should tell you that perhaps you are not fully comfortable or secure within your own self. By letting people get under your skin with their non sense, you waste your energy, time, and you throw away your own inner peace. We need to love ourselves more than that. We are all on a spiritual journey and each one of us is at a different point in those journeys. Realize that. Embrace that. Let it go.

Being overly busy
I love the line, "Never be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life." Does that describe you? Always hustling. I know life is a struggle. It's expensive. It's demanding. It's time consuming. But ask yourself, how many more days do you have on this earth? How many more moments will you get with your loved ones? Life is fragile. Life is not about stuff. I've seen too many wealthy people commit suicide or waste away on drugs and alcohol. So we can infer that joy doesn't come from money, status, or stuff. Your joy radiates from within. It's in the most simplest of moments. Slow down. Don't let your life pass you by. The ride ends too quickly anyway.

Settling
 I don't know at what point when we become adults that many of us stop dreaming. We stop going after our goals. We stay in bad marriages. We settle for jobs that make us miserable. All the while we believe that this is life and it won't get any better. I say, "bullshit." If you have a desire in you that continues to come up in your heart, you owe it to yourself to go after it. Whether it's a career change, a relationship change, or a childhood dream... go for it. Your life is what YOU make it. No one else. If you are alive, then YOU are still writing YOUR story and you can change the chapters however you see fit. If you are happy and satisfied with life then great. Congratulations. If you aren't, then start visualizing what you want, work on it every single day, and don't quit on it. Dreams don't work unless YOU DO.

We become more aware of our actions when we recognize it's effect on others. It's often the smallest things that leave the biggest impression on people. You are incredibly powerful. You can lift others up or you can pull them down. The choice is yours. Knowledge is recognizing destructive behaviors. Wisdom is making the shift to better behavior.

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